Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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