His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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