ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
