Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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