He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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