I'm lost and stupid without you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
