You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
