Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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