why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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