I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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