Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
