drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
