And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
