I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
