This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
