My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize