'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
