he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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