am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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