Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
