i just wanna soil my oats bro
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
