Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
