Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
