He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize