i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize