Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
