Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
