this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize