so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
