dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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