who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
