My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
