those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
