A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
