so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
