is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
