I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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