he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize