Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
