A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
