You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
