yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
