Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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