it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
