you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
