Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
