he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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