Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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