This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize