drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
