The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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