So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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