apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
