Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
