garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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