Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
