dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
