the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the day after is always just damage control
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
