i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
do herpes really smell.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
