You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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