I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
