I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
